Orland Evangelical Free Church | Now That I'm Messed Up

How do we handle the aftermath of divorce in a godly way?

Some might doubt the possibility of a godly aftermath. Once you’re divorced, you’re inducted into the subculture of Splitsville. You’re stuck with arbitrators and child-support payments. You’re emotionally scarred. Your future marriages will fail. Spiritually, you’re messed up.

We do not believe that here.

The challenges of divorce’s aftermath are large and varied. There are ethical questions like, “How far do I go in court to keep my kids?” There are emotional questions about how to forgive, how to prevent bitterness, and how to recover joy. There are spiritual questions about how to repent of sin in the middle of sin’s consequences, and when a divorced person can minister to others.

And the big one: what about remarriage?

There are godly answers to all these questions, but they do not come prepackaged. God’s priorities especially do not make it easy for onlookers to judge. Various considerations define godliness after a divorce:

1. The history of the divorce.

2. Which partner was at fault in which areas (Matthew 19.9).

3. Who left whom (1 Corinthians 7.12-16).

4. The divorced person’s profession of faith: did the person claim Christ before, during, or after the divorce (1 Corinthians 6.9-11).

5. The person’s sexual conduct during and after the divorce (1 Corinthians 5.11-13).

The elders of OEFC handle divorce on a case-by-case basis, not because situations change God’s truth but because his truth must be applied rightly in all situations. One of the many reasons we employ Biblical counselors is to help believers handle the details.

And the most important commitment the counselors will ask you to make comes before they answer any questions. Commit to please God. No matter what he commands you to do, trust him to take care of you.

Keeping that commitment, no matter the cost, will nurture godliness even in the aftermath of a divorce.